Please, What Is Wrong With Me?

I have completely lost my appetite. I have excessively poor self-image and have feelings of self-loathing consistently. I self-harm to make myself feel better, but it never lasts and I have to hurt myself worse and worse otherwise the effects will wear off. I am lethargic and weak. I feel dead behind the eyes and empty. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I feel like my head is literally in the clouds; I am not worried or impressed by anything, instead I just remain weirdly serene. It actually feels painful to be alive. My brain keeps picking up on weird things and making outlandish connections. I am obsessive to the point where I cannot think of anything else. I am self-absorbed and find it impossible to care about other people. I have no longing to be close to others, I know I cannot have a relationship, and I only have a desire to do horrible things to people, such as manipulate and humiliate them. Sex feels clinical and disgusting to me, and I don't enjoy doing it, even though I do have a sex drive. What is happening to me? I have always had mental issues and depression, but this is just ridiculous now... Thank you for your help.